As The Confidence Alchemist™, everything I do is about helping people to CHANGE.
Indeed, even my company reflects that in its name – Be Your Change.
Although any form of change can be scary at times, I’ve developed a strong 6-step framework for change which gives you the greatest chance for success, and the greatest ability to make the maximum positive change with the minimum necessary effort.
It forms the basis of the work I do with most of my clients, and I thought I’d share it with you here so that you can see how you can implement it in your own areas of change.
Step 1 – Clear the emotion
When we clear the underlying emotions, fear does not get a chance to develop.
Deep down, we are very emotional creatures. We are driven a lot by emotion – we seek to avoid or remove ourselves from situations which make us feel bad, and look to find and take part in things which make us feel good.
It is this emotion which can hold us back from doing things for fear of experiencing a bad result.
Or sometimes worse, it is emotion we hold about past events which causes us to avoid moving forward in the future.
For example, one client had been laughed at when they sang once at school in front of their classmates – which they carried with them ever since! The result was that despite them being an excellent singer, they could not bring themselves to perform in front of others – the emotion from way back was still affecting them.
We worked together to quickly release that old emotion, and suddenly all previous nerves about performing were permanently banished.
Step 2 – Harness new decisions
We can change the decisions we made in the past, and change the results we get
It may sound strange, but we can change the decisions we made in the past!
This is because nothing which ever happens has an absolute meaning – indeed, nothing has any meaning but that which we ascribe it.
Something happens to us, we decide it must mean something, and go through life accordingly. But the reality is, it could “mean” whatever we choose it to mean.
Which is why we can change those decisions we made (you know, like “I’m not good enough”, “People like me never succeed”, “I don’t deserve it” etc).
And when we change them, it has a massive effect for our lives for now and our new future.
Step 3 – Align your values
When we align everything we do, with everything that’s important to us, we dissolve the barriers to our success.
Our values are things which are important to us – for example, they might include loyalty, health, happiness, justice, success, money, equality, anything which is important to us.
When we attempt to do something which is against our values, or is not supported by our values, then we create so many more artificial and real barriers to our own success.
By bringing everything we do in line with everything that is important to us (as well as addressing any conflicts within what is important to us), the two work together to propel us through any barrier we may think we face.
Step 4 – Notice your skill gaps
Often the biggest barrier to our success is knowing which skills we need.
Once we have cleared out the old emotional responses and the old disempowering decisions which were holding us back, and once we have aligned our values and our desired outcomes, the next step is to take stock of where we want to go, what skills we need to take us there, and compare those against our existing skills (and knowledge).
By doing this, we can quickly identify those areas in which we need to develop our skills or knowledge.
It is important to do this only after the first three steps, of course, so that we are not being artificially held back!
Step 5 – Gain your new skills
Once you know what you need to know, gaining those skills brings about massive results, very quickly.
Once you know which skills you need to gain, it becomes merely a matter of finding out how you can learn them, and then polishing them.
You might look to enrol in a local college, or to hire a coach or mentor in those areas, or to do your own self-study and research.
Or you might even ask friends or others who already have those skills, and find out what they do, how they do it, and study them to figure it out.
Step 6 – Engage your new life
Once you have made changes and put these new things in place, it’s time to truly engage with your new life and live it the way you always wanted to.
Engage in those new skills, following those new dreams, achieving those new goals.
Remembering, of course, that this is a process of constant measuring and checking to see that you are on course and to adjust course accordingly. The beauty here is that no longer are you wondering whether you can do something, you are too busy enjoying the process of making the journey itself work.
This is the 6-step model I have used to make my own changes to my life, and which I use with clients to help them to make massively successful changes in their lives.
You are welcome to use this same model for the changes you want to make in your own life, or if you’d prefer then you and I can use it together to help you to make the changes you want to make.
So, when are you going to be your change?
How have you found this useful? Let me know how you will put this to good use!
Also published on Medium.